Just thought I’d show up. Still here but bone tired. Today was rough but I handled things like someone else. Someone steady, calm and in control of her emotions. wow. Only got cranky and snappy once instead of what would have easily been too many times to count. Not even the interior grumbling. I was actually happy and joking with customers in the midst of chaos. And I didn’t even hear the wine calling. Miracle.
The last two weeks of official summer. In the shop, it’s a fine food frenzy for those hosting end of summer soirees…. wonder how you get that little mark that’s supposed to be above the first e. I’m fixated on trying to figure that out and it’s really not a good time. Great analogy for how I can obsess about something that doesn’t amount to squat.
Moving on… the specialty food business is as about as challenging as you can get if staying sober is the goal. I’ve been working at this shop for 6 years and managed to keep sober for the first year. Once I gave in to the alcohol call, I continued to go to meetings but constantly raising my hand every other day, as Day 1, got old quick. I lasted another year but eventually gave up. But I didn’t just go off into the sunset drinking. I knew I needed God more than ever.
He knew it too.
I’m sitting here all critical and judging of this post so I’m putting the critic to bed before she deletes it. Frustrated. Bone tired is not good for staying sober.