Back from vacation. Wonderful visit with big sis and the Captain enjoying the beauty and power of creation. Wild ocean and wind. Rain. Beaches and sunshine. Great company and home cooking. I felt great. Alive, present and energized. No temptations, no cravings, and no desire. Not even on the ferry both going and coming.
So what’s up?
Got back Tuesday night and have been tired, slightly depressed and down and more than a little moody. I often feel depressed after a visit with my brothers and sisters because we don’t see each other very often. When our visit ends, it’s funktime for me thinking how long it will be before I see them again. Oh no, don’t dwell on the wonderful visit- go right to the downer.
I also get a good dose of melancholia as we enter fall. Don’t pay attention to the beautiful foliage. Or the cooler temps (which I love). The great sleeping and exercise weather. Forget about it. The future looms tall and menacing. Winter.
I’ve always looked at that half empty glass and could never enjoy it. Not if it wasn’t full. And for 25 days now the glass has been empty.
This is what I found on what happens to the emotions:
As most would expect, mixed in with the highs are periods of emotional lows. These effects aren’t as physically urgent as the ones experienced in the first stages of withdrawal, but they can take a big toll on your newly sober psyche:
- Anxiety & depression
- Decreased energy & metabolism
- Feelings of aggression or hostility
- Declined sexual interest or function
- Sleep disruption & nightmares
Excerpt from: What Happens When You Stop
I imagine my brain is going through major chemical adjustments so to remain kind and gentle with these emotions is my goal- a necessary side effect of learning to live with that empty glass.