I wasn’t sober today; I was dry. Not even sure I can really say that I’ve been sober for 36 days if I apply the full spectrum of what that means:
1.Not drunk 2.temperate; not extreme or extravagant 3.characterized by reason, sanity, or self-control; showing mental and emotional balance
I may have had sober moments, possibly many this last month. But after drinking the way I have for all these years I think it will take quite some time before I embody all aspects of the definition.
I know the challenges I’ve felt reigning in my emotions and thoughts. Today was a good example. I went to work feeling pretty good. For some reason midway through the day I became real irritable. One of those moods where everything was grating on me. For no good reason ’cause it was all small, unimportant, idiotic crap. Internal lunacy. Like Lon Chaney Jr. turning into wolf man.
Fortunately, I didn’t let the lunatic loose much as she tried to escape. So far, I’ve been able to recognize these moments for what they are before any damage is done. I pray for the self-awareness and control to continue to do so and the Grace to keep going.