let your yes be yes….#1 of 2

This post is dedicated to my sister mooseylou.

Sorry,  I’m too tired right now to go on about it… but I will.  This weekend.

When I have 3 days off.

From this grueling non-stop work.  Where I have not a minute to stop and wonder at the real meaning for me of what everyone is going crazy over.  What holiday?   Christmas?  It seems to me as nothing more than an excuse- as if anyone needs one- to go mad with self indulgence.  And be damned to anyone in the way.  Filling their  needs and rude bellies.  Holes they’re trying to fill with food and liquor.

I know the hole can only be filled by Him.

Sorry.  I said I was tired.

January 1, 1986.

That was my first long run with sobriety.  9 years. And so I thought it fitting (or very  convenient) to let it be my second  long run.  January 1, 1917.

May God Help me.

No one is guaranteed another chance.

Like all drunks, I really, really need Him.

My short run was 8/15/16 until the honesty vs popularity post.  But I know myself and haven’t wanted my yes to turn to no.  I’ve been there before when I’ve said never, ever again only to be there…..again.

When my yes to sobriety had turned to no.  And the pain and self loathing and demoralization that came with it.

Worse than what came with getting myself to say yes.

It’s real important to let your yes be yes.

And I’ve experienced the pain and destruction that come from wrestling with Him-  than before Him.

You can just leave me be from Jacob’s bad hip.  I already have one of those.

He and I have struggled before.

I’ve always lost.

And thanks be to Him.

When I am weak……

Advertisements

Author: Elizabeth

Living a life of unceasing prayer in gratitude to Him who saved me.

8 thoughts on “let your yes be yes….#1 of 2”

  1. I have thought about this before. Let my yes be yes verse. I have also thought ALOT about the story of Jacob wrestling with God. In fact, I think I am going to read that again with new eyes with my morning coffee. I will let you know what what transpires. I am sorry you are having to run yourself into the ground tired. I hope when holidays are over you can come back to some balance. I love you!!! I will be praying for God to strengthen you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, we know how you will be greeted when returning home:

    “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”

    -Jesus Christ, Luke 15:20

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s