Can’t stop thinking about my sister and her loss. Our loss.
Everyone that new the Captain.
Trying to sleep and all that keeps going ’round in my head is loss and how much I am hating my job- mainly because of my idiot, ungrateful, lazy, sob boss.
Can’t seem to let go of all the crap in the last 3 weeks. I keep having conversations in my head about when I walk in tomorrow I am going to ream him out-
Use your imagination. That was mild.
Or, a new one I heard today:
“Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!”
Can’t seem to pull up the compassion for him right now. All I feel is grief and how freakin’ short life is and how hard I work (a lot harder than than him) and how I am missing my family and everything good ’cause I’m working’ like it’s my business. Guess what? If it were mine, I wouldn’t be working this hard- I’d have it a tad more together. More than a tad- Sad thing is I know more about his business than he does. You know, work smarter, not harder? (boo-hoo-boo-hoo)
But you couldn’t pay me enough to stay or own it.
Attention all pity partiers!! Now happening!! Right here!!
Another sad thing is,
I know it and I can’t seem to stop it.
And I feel like-
The edge is too close for comfort.
I do know grief is like that.
Breathe. Let go.
I’d like to.
Please pray for me if you are so inclined.
For self control.
Trying hard to be grateful.
And not walk out tomorrow. I do need a job.
This one for now.