I have a friend.
I believe our relationship was anointed (foreseen and destined) by the Lord.
He has been for me an angel on this earth.
This is how God led me to him:
I had just moved back to my home state of birth, after leaving when I was in my early 20’s to pursue my wanderlust.
Wanderlust: (leaving many open doors that should have been closed and many that remained closed that should have been opened)
My mom was dying. My brother had died 6 months earlier from vodka.
I moved back in with my step dad because I wanted to “help”him…he had given my mom the happiest years of her life- her 3rd and final marriage.
Now at the time I was a massage therapist in a very affluent area and living as I always had- choosing the most beautiful nature filled places to live- and relying on whom ever was available to help me.
At that time, big sister was it.
I lived with her at the time and we were not getting along all that great.
I was living as I had my entire life– for me.
So true to form- when my mom died I picked up the “heroic” role and great “sacrifice” to move in with my step dad to “help” him. And to escape rather than deal with the issues with my beloved big sis.
Who I believe to this day is responsible for any sanity that I may have.
Thank you, Sis.
Back to my place of birth. Dark memories. Blank memories. Things I couldn’t remember.
But you can’t heal what you flee. And I had fled my entire life.
After all, even though they met and married after I was grown, he had made her happier than her previous husbands. Yes, our family resembles the Disney movie “Your’s, Mine and Our’s.” We (my siblings) were at one time a total of 8. 3 from my mom’s first marriage- 3 from my mom’s second (my dad) marriage and 2 my dad brought from a previous and tragically ended marriage…my dad’s first wife committed suicide.
I thank God for my many brothers and sisters.
My parents separated when I was I think 7 or 8- mainly because a psychiatrist she was seeing told her that if my father remained in our lives, her children would sustain damage beyond repair.
That’s all she needed… the choice for her was clear.
Now this was a woman who was raised to find a man and be taken care of by him.
She never worked. But I was witness to her doing and trying whatever she could to pay the bills.
I think her first job was at a furniture store strutting around in white boots- Nancy Sinatra white boots to the tune of “These boots were made for walking’.”
God Bless My Mother.
I do have my limits. And self respect. And pride….
Which in most cases in my life has been my undoing.
I started to tell you about my friend-
Well this was good to get out and I will continue my next post and let you in on this angel of mine.