I am trying something new.
I truly believe that anonymity is over rated. Especially these days. And especially for me.
And I know that it (or how I’ve used it) has kept me from recovery. In a huge way. There is something about speaking the truth. As long as I held back this information, it kept me from fully accepting this aspect of myself. I was using anonymity. A lack of integrity.
Integrity: having moral or ethical convictions and doing the right thing in all circumstances, even if no one is watching you. Having integrity means you are true to yourself and would do nothing that demeans or dishonors you.
Now that doesn’t mean I have left all discretion to the wind (I wouldn’t tell a prospective employer- at least not in the interview) but I’ve been examining my own tendencies and reasons for “hiding” my alcoholism. My main and most cherished excuse from fully accepting who I am and to remain anonymous- what will they think?
Only a small part. Tiny part as compared to the real reason.
Even in friendships where I knew I would not be judged I withheld.
Why?
The unwillingness to fully commit myself to sobriety. Bet you more savvy folks knew that was coming. I wanted a back door. Just in case. Guess what else? These were also friendships in which the other may drink but have no issues. You know. They can take it or leave it. But I wanted to reserve the right to take it when we were together and none of the discomfort of having outed myself. Oh- I take it back. I’m not really…you know…. I’m ok now. HA! Busted.
If I wish to have a sober life for whatever time I have remaining in this world then it is time to drop the facade. Time to own it. Time to come out. And really, at this point, I’m not so sure I really give a crap about what others think of me…. a benefit of wisdom or as in my case, age.
Certain things become less important as one grows older… and old. And other things, things we never much cared or thought about become like gold.
By His power and Grace @ 6 weeks.
Without the whine 
Keep going 🙏🏻😊
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Thank you! I’m planning on it like never before. Ever.
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Well, because we lead parallel lives, apparently, you’ve outed me as well. I hold the truth back “just in case” I want to hang out at some point later, and pretend all this sobriety stuff never happened. After all, I’ve quit before, and then somehow come to the conclusion that there was a good reason to drink again.
Thank you for this insightful perspective, because as part of my new work, I am being asked to be completely open about my blog. Not just open, but to actively solicit recognition on other blogs, maybe even record a podcast. The idea of doing these things makes me both exhilarated and petrified.
I have an idea. You do it first. 💕
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Bravo on your new work! I’m sure it will only serve to strengthen your sobriety. And you are such a beacon of inspiration! Pouring ourselves out for others is what it’s all about. Me first? I am shaking in my boots (sandals) at the thought. ❤
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Me too. It still seems like something that’s in the future, no RIGHT NOW. I could procrastinate for years. 💕
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I hid my sobriety at first. Then asked why? If I’m real, it is now part of me and my journey. It feels good! Proud of you!
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I definitely feel stronger for it Rick. Thank you!
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It was the only way I could get sober, by telling other people and amassing an army of people to help keep me accountable.
It really worked!
xo
Wendy
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Yes I have come to believe it is key not only to our commitment but our healing as well. ❤ and hugs.
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The freedom is unbelievable. As is the accountability. Both of which I needed.
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Absolutely! I am finding that out. And with that freedom, comes peace for the soul. Thank you!
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There is a lot to be said on the anonymity thing. I know I’ve been through a lot with it. I’m in 12-step recovery. To me, I keep anonymous in which brand of recovery I use (there are dozens of 12-step group for drugs, alcohol, and everything else.) So that’s how I stay anonymous. Aside from that, I’m one of the “recover out loud” types. Although it’s mainly on the internet. I don’t talk about it much at work, mainly because nobody asks me. It’s not a common topic of conversation.
Whatever you do, staying sober is the bravest thing you can do.
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Love the phrase “recover out loud”. Never heard that before but that is exactly what I mean.
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The truth really does set you free! In a world where people try to create false illusions of happiness and prosperity it is refreshing to hear truth! I sometimes think I am way too truthful for my own good but in being open about my problem with alcohol I have made the path less cluttered with obstacles ❤️❤️
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