Holding Strong

I’ve made it through two holidays in 11 weeks.  Building that sober muscle for what’s to come.

Spent some time yesterday morning with a relatively new friend.  A year ago, when we were  initially talking about getting together, she had just moved in to her new home a few blocks from me.  She had mentioned that she made “great” cocktails.

Of course being me,  I gently tucked that bit of info away (with excitement and anticipation) and kept silent as to my struggle with alcohol.  I most certainly didn’t want to go burnin’ any bridges.

In one of my last posts I mentioned my need for honesty if I was to remain sober.  This was exactly the type of situation to which I had referred.

Time to sing a new song.  To respond differently.  Time to decide what I really and truly wanted.

So yesterday I told her.

I didn’t share horrid details but enough so that now she knows.

I feel stronger for it.

Integrity is very important to me.  In myself and in those I choose to spend time with.  My integrity is in the process of rebuilding itself;  within myself and with those around me.  That’s what feels strong.

Healing.

I have been on the fence about my sobriety for many years.  On  again, off again sobriety.  Mostly off.  I was commitment phobic.  Double-minded.

Actually,  I was just another alcoholic not wanting to be an alcoholic.

My grand finale 11 weeks ago hit me where it hurts most of us the hardest; in the arena of pride.  Self image.  What others see.  Really see about us and in us.

I’ve been praying to see myself as I really am… not how I envision myself or would like to be.

It is good to be sober.  Thanks be to God.

 

 

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Author: Elizabeth

Living a life of unceasing prayer in gratitude to Him who saved me.

12 thoughts on “Holding Strong”

  1. Honesty makes life do much easier.
    And one day those painful and embarrassing moments become part of the story of what we don’t drink…parts we maybe even laugh at, but own.
    Because choosing sobriety over addiction is a huge win. Huge. Bravo.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Times that are usually thought of as drinking occasions are a really tough test, really well done on your double success there. Honesty and integrity are so important but aren’t easy to constantly live by, like so many other really important things in life. It sounds like you’re doing a great job with that too. Hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

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