I talk too much.

  Especially when it comes to certain men.

Certain men that I find appealing.

And really, there are not many that turn my head.

It has little to do with looks and everything to do with demeanor and character.  I mean, I’d rather he not be a hunchback or anything.  But when that special combination arrives in front of me and the interest appears mutual…..

I give myself away.  Just like a happy pooch.

Happypup

I remember my mom always said: “You need to keep some mystery about you.”  I hated that!  It seemed dishonest but I’ve always had a tough time distinguishing between what was appropriate to share and with whom.  It’s all been very confusing for me.

I can appear to be aloof because I am somewhat reserved.  I dislike small talk and having to make conversation.  If we talk, let’s get down to it.

I want to know what feeds your soul.

And you can be sure I will tell you what feeds mine.  Along with the long drawn out history of the why, who, what, where and how.

But because this takes a lot of energy, let’s only do this if we think we can make a go of it. You know… be friends and all that.  I’ve not only approached my romantic interests this way but my women friends as well.

Sometimes I wonder about myself.  Less often than I used to… but still.  When I look at myself, I see a mess of bloody contradictions. Definitely not gifted in the social arena.

I remember reading somewhere in the blogosphere:  “People should earn the privilege of hearing your story.”

If you are the owner of that quote, please claim it!  I would like to thank you.  I’ve actually started keeping a journal of all the amazing bits of wisdom I’ve read along with the wise men and women that “spoke” them.  I want to give the credit where it’s due.

Because you have all been my healers and helpers.  

Of course GOD is the master healer because He led me to you all, but I would not be here sober had I not found this amazing and nurturing community.

The good news is that I’m getting used to being in my own skin. With sobriety I have peace.  A growing acceptance of the things I can’t change and a strong desire to change what I can.  So what if I don’t have all the answers.  I do know I am a person of solitude and quite happy with my independence.

I know that my path is total devotion to the Lord.  If He sees fit to give me a partner to share in that devotion, my social idiosyncrasies won’t matter…I’ll be loved just as I am.

As I am loved by Him.

In ending, it just struck me that a little mystery is a good thing.

A beautiful thing.

A GOD thing.

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth to all.

 

 

Author: Elizabeth

Happy, joyous & free. Thanks be to God.

10 thoughts on “I talk too much.”

    1. So did I read that on your blog? My ex did exactly that. Shamed me with personal history I had shared. Always in a fight. But I forgive him and take responsibility for my own lack of healthy boundaries. Thanks for sharing, as always! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I can’t begin to tell you how much those words resonated with me. I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to sharing my story. I have embarrassed myself a number of times by telling too much to people I have only just met. I wish I could zip my lips!
    On the other hand, God is more than able to bring someone in to your life who completely embraces your idiosyncrasies and loves your for them. My husband is like that. He accepts me for who I am and that is so wonderful!
    I am so proud of you…………..you are doing so well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is awesome!

    Being on this journey with you, Liz, is a true blessing. I share that comfort in the skin thing. Mine has been growing, steadily in sobriety. I really enjoy hearing how your path to acceptance is taking hold of your recovery. What a powerful message!

    Happy holidays,

    Mark

    Liked by 1 person

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