What we got here is a failure to communicate!

Irritated.

 No reason in particular… just feel like I could whack something really hard. Something. Not someone.

Really good thing I’m not drinking.  I wasn’t a happy drunk.

Actually, one problem I’ve been having is this:  lately, more often than not, I am not getting return calls or messages from people.  Some are friends, some just acquaintances.   I’m not talking about the lack of responding in a timely manner- I’m talking not responding at all!  What the??   The rudeness and lack of consideration astounds me.

There must be 50 ways to leave a message.

And maybe the above hints of where the problem lies:  two problems really.  My expectations, for one and two, there are just too many options when it comes to communication.

The good ole days-  a telephone.  Just call.  No answer? not home.  Busy signal? on the phone- but at least you know they’re home.  Then comes the arrival of answering machines. Ahhh…  now the screening of calls begins.  So as you’re leaving a message, paranoid self is wondering if there is someone hovering at the other end to see who it is before they commit to picking it up.  Caller ID made it simpler- you didn’t need to wait for the message to know who you wanted to avoid.  Email arrived soon after that.  Or before that?   Then cell phones- great- not home?  call the cell.  Don’t forget to check the cell phone voicemail.  Or iMessage if you’re rich enough for an iPhone.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot the text messages.  OK folks, now we’ve also got Facebook and the countless other social media sites where messages can be left.

Anyone else see how insane this is?

Rant over.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks be to God I’m still sober.

🙏 6/21/17 🙏

Image: By Warner Bros. Entertainment – Screenshots from the original trailer, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=27935250

 

God’s response to me…

I prayed this morning.

I usually give Him the first hour of my day, every day.  But I’ve been very erratic since mid-December when the holiday insanity ramped up.

I am a person that needs structure and routine. When something happens (like life) and it’s disrupted, the first things to go are the healthy habits that keep me anchored.

It’s amazing I’m not in an asylum after the past few weeks…

then losing Dave, my brother-in-law who was so much more than that to me.

And then there’s my anger at my boss.

I’d made a great deal of progress in ‘getting over myself’ and showing him love and compassion in the 3 month sober challenge that began last August.

‘Got over myself’ in the sense that I knew God wanted me to give him the same grace that He Himself has shown me.

The Lord continues to love me in spite of my wicked self-centered self.

What I heard in prayer this morning when begging Him for help with feeling so angry, demoralized and unappreciated at work was this:

“Forgive him, for he knows not what he does.”

I wept…

then replied back to Him:

“Please forgive me Lord for I also know not what I do.”

He knows.  He loves me anyway.

I have to pass it on.

So amazingly grateful to be sober and loved by Him.

❤ ❤ ❤

Image credit: The Ocean of God’s Love, Kevin Shorter