and this has been the most challenging yet. Experienced cravings for alcohol like an itch I couldn’t scratch….
Haven’t posted since my 3 year anniversary in June- journaling very sporadically if at all. Like most, 2020 has left me scrambling for mental and emotional health. I’ve succeeded in killing off the monsters one by one. I’m sure they’ll be waiting for me but as long as I stay vigilant, I will survive.
At least mentally.
How I managed the cravings was to really allow myself to sit with that itch. Not try to resist but just allow it to be; but at the same time, replaying the video in my head of my last bottom. Still makes me cringe. My life is so, so different now. I am so different now. And I know that if I drink again I’ll be crawling under a bar lower than the last. No thanks.
Seen too much suffering this year. Keeping the rage at bay and the howling at the moon (and not at fellow humans) has required enormous faith, strength, and fortitude.
And we move forward. With faith and hope… Lord give us hope.
I intensely dislike this new format for writing so going to keep this short- not in a good mode for learning. Hoping I can find a way to go back to the old WP format for posting.
I have missed being here and keeping up with y’all. I hope and pray that everyone is healthy and sober and staying somewhat sane in this insane world.
Love and miss each of you.
Have a Blessed Christmas and a Peace-filled New Year.
May God be with us.