What we got here is a failure to communicate!

Irritated.

 No reason in particular… just feel like I could whack something really hard. Something. Not someone.

Really good thing I’m not drinking.  I wasn’t a happy drunk.

Actually, one problem I’ve been having is this:  lately, more often than not, I am not getting return calls or messages from people.  Some are friends, some just acquaintances.   I’m not talking about the lack of responding in a timely manner- I’m talking not responding at all!  What the??   The rudeness and lack of consideration astounds me.

There must be 50 ways to leave a message.

And maybe the above hints of where the problem lies:  two problems really.  My expectations, for one and two, there are just too many options when it comes to communication.

The good ole days-  a telephone.  Just call.  No answer? not home.  Busy signal? on the phone- but at least you know they’re home.  Then comes the arrival of answering machines. Ahhh…  now the screening of calls begins.  So as you’re leaving a message, paranoid self is wondering if there is someone hovering at the other end to see who it is before they commit to picking it up.  Caller ID made it simpler- you didn’t need to wait for the message to know who you wanted to avoid.  Email arrived soon after that.  Or before that?   Then cell phones- great- not home?  call the cell.  Don’t forget to check the cell phone voicemail.  Or iMessage if you’re rich enough for an iPhone.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot the text messages.  OK folks, now we’ve also got Facebook and the countless other social media sites where messages can be left.

Anyone else see how insane this is?

Rant over.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks be to God I’m still sober.

🙏 6/21/17 🙏

Image: By Warner Bros. Entertainment – Screenshots from the original trailer, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=27935250

 

My Tree

“If we walk in the light as He is in the light…” (1 John 1:7).

For many of us, walking in the light means walking according to the standard we have set up for another person. The deadliest attitude of the Pharisees that we exhibit today is not hypocrisy but that which comes from unconsciously living a lie.

                                                                    From My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers

🙏

Choose love over fear.

Perfect love casts out all fear.

Love will save us. Not hate. Not fear.

Not Judgement. 

If you feel a need to blame or judge, first look within. Then cast the first stone….if you can.

Stay strong.  Stay sober. 

Each of us has a part to play in this healing.

Because…

every one of us has played some part, large or small, in getting us here.

Help someone in need. You won’t need to look very far.

May the Lord pour out His abundant Mercy and Compassion on us all.

 

I talk too much.

  Especially when it comes to certain men.

Certain men that I find appealing.

And really, there are not many that turn my head.

It has little to do with looks and everything to do with demeanor and character.  I mean, I’d rather he not be a hunchback or anything.  But when that special combination arrives in front of me and the interest appears mutual…..

I give myself away.  Just like a happy pooch.

I remember my mom always said: “You need to keep some mystery about you.”  I hated that!  It seemed dishonest but I’ve always had a tough time distinguishing between what was appropriate to share and with whom.  It’s all been very confusing for me.

I can appear to be aloof because I am somewhat reserved.  I dislike small talk and having to make conversation.  If we talk, let’s get down to it.

I want to know what feeds your soul.

And you can be sure I will tell you what feeds mine.  Along with the long drawn out history of the why, who, what, where and how.

But because this takes a lot of energy, let’s only do this if we think we can make a go of it. You know… be friends and all that.  I’ve not only approached my romantic interests this way but my women friends as well.

Sometimes I wonder about myself.  Less often than I used to… but still.  When I look at myself, I see a mess of bloody contradictions. Definitely not gifted in the social arena.

I remember reading somewhere in the blogosphere:  “People should earn the privilege of hearing your story.”

If you are the owner of that quote, please claim it!  I would like to thank you.  I’ve actually started keeping a journal of all the amazing bits of wisdom I’ve read along with the wise men and women that “spoke” them.  I want to give the credit where it’s due.

Because you have all been my healers and helpers.  

Of course GOD is the master healer because He led me to you all, but I would not be here sober had I not found this amazing and nurturing community.

The good news is that I’m getting used to being in my own skin. With sobriety I have peace.  A growing acceptance of the things I can’t change and a strong desire to change what I can.  So what if I don’t have all the answers.  I do know I am a person of solitude and quite happy with my independence.

I know that my path is total devotion to the Lord.  If He sees fit to give me a partner to share in that devotion, my social idiosyncrasies won’t matter…I’ll be loved just as I am.

As I am loved by Him.

In ending, it just struck me that a little mystery is a good thing.

A beautiful thing.

A GOD thing.

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth to all.